Google is not a whore! Never forget that!

When I first got started with SEO and google, I was like a 16 year old teenager wanting to screw the homecoming queen. When I discovered that with a little Jell in my hair, maybe a leather jacket, tight jeans ( come on it was the 90’s) and a few cool friends, I could actually infuence her to like me, or at least I could get her to look in my direction as she walked by with her top ten friends, I knew I was onto something. Oh... I remeber those days, how I wanted to be one of her top ten friends,  I literally had a google-boner every day thinking about it. I couldnt stop thinking about being her number one. Every morning and night I would check my position with her. That was the best part, unlike the girls in highschool, she actually rated me daily, weekly, and monthly on a scale of one to ten, I started with zero and after just three months I was a three! I knew my position with her constantly. I though wow, I know this girl, I understand this girl, she understands me, I might just score the ultimate goal. What I hated about her though was that she would tease me now and then, put me up to position 3 and then after a week throw me down to position 11 on page 3, but I loved her anyway. 

It didnt matter though she was my world back then, afternoons, nights, my girlfriend at the time thought there might be something between me and google, I mean I spend so much time talking about her, dreaming about her, trying to get her attention, but I blew my wife off as being crazy.

Google is the ultimate form of “ Your getting hotter...” and “Your Getting Colder....” What did she think of me today, where did she place me this day, this month this week, how was I doing in relation to the other geeks, nerds, and companies trying for her attention, I knew I was better, I knew I tried harder, I knew she would want me more than the other if only she would get to know me better, I knew if given the chance I would always be postion one with her.

Ill be honest though. I screwed it up a few times wth her in the beginning, when I found out what she wanted and what she liked, I smothered her with it, I tried to touch her boobs on the second date. I got slapped. Yet as stupid as I am, I dint learn my lesson, I grabbed her ass on the third date, and as perfect as she is, she didnt throw me out, she just slapped me again, She is really the greatest and most forgiving thing, but the last time, I really screwed up, I figured because she wasnt responding to the flowers, and the kisses, and the nice words, the boob and ass grabbing, that maybe I could go further. Let me tell you something.

Google aint no Whore!

If you are just starting out as an SEO, let me give you a little advice:

Google is the woman you want to marry and have a family with, she is the pretiest, nicest, most perfect christian women for you, and you gotta treat her like that. So what!!!! You just discovered your penis is bigger than then the guys down the road who is dating google in position number one today. If you have the chance, dont show it to her on day one... man that will totally freak her out. In the real world you would locked up for life! And in the internet world you should be too. After a few months you might get some titty play, atualy beginn to start with the boobs after 8 months, then whip it out. Do it on the first date, and she wont want to see you again, well at least until you ve grown up a little more.